were clips of street parties, during Air Max Women Black And White which sweaty looking women of a certain age were lined up to tell us that after the Queen's 60 years on the throne, the least they could do was stay up all night knitting millions of red, white and blue cupcakes. But now I was getting tired of the 60 years mantra, Sophie's shrieks and old Huw's podgy jowled and hammy insincerity.
Earlier, I think, I'd caught a glimpse of the extremely common Pippa Middleton on a boat, those droopy breasts around her knees no fairy godmother at her christening, was there? and her mother wearing a dinner plate hat above a plastic mac. How the old Queen Mother would have shuddered. I mean, we all know Diana was daft, but at least she was blue bloodedly daft, darling. National newspapers lost their heads on all sides, telling us of "unprecedented outpourings of patriotism, for Elizabeth after 60 years on the throne". They, too, must have been at the gin. What we saw last weekend had nothing to do with patriotism, that love of one's country that inspires many of us to pay our taxes, obey our laws, fight our .
my gin bottle again and, when next I looked, there was Cliff Richard, in a suit the colour of cheap farmed salmon, capering as he sang of congratulations and jubilations, surely words he'd made known in silent film days. In all truth, he's past it. The limbs still work but his give away face peeps like a desiccated dormouse disturbed in his thatch of dyed hair. At this point, a presenter mentioned Prince Philip was in King Edward's Hospital for Officers "which will be a deep disappointment to the Queen after 60 years on the throne". I'm not sure I believe in the dodgy bladder story. I reckon the Queen gave her husband the night off, having previously booked him a bed at KE's as a reprieve from that tacky concert. Perhaps they'd rowed because Elizabeth wanted to hurl matron sized monogrammed white silk French knickers at Tom Jones's hairpiece and Phil the Greek couldn't stomach the embarrassment.
e been a day later) and we had the lovely Sophie Raworth, usually unflappable, squeaking like a third former from Mallory Towers: "She's been standing on her feet for four hours. She's 86 and she's been standing on her feet for four hours after 60 years on the throne and, oh, look, she's still smiling through the rain after standing on her feet for four hours. "Unfortunately a tardy cameraman, zooming in on the Queen, caught her looking her grumpiest, leaving me badly in need of a snort from the gin Womens Nike Air Max Thea Ultra
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bottle. Next up was Huw Edwards, the beetle browed Welsh newsreader who rather fancies his chances as a man of broadcasting moment, the sort of chap who reckons he brings an air of gravitas to national events. He too, reminded us of 60 years on the throne but sounded like a works' manager called in to present a clock to an aged employee in the absence of the CEO. Rolf Harris even managed a well rehearsed catch in his voice at the thought of 60 years on the throne and a tall black singer forgot to wear a skirt. Interspersed with this Nike Women Air Max Thea White
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